Learning to hold my own hand. God, don't touch me back.. Learning to hold little 5 year old me, little 7 year old me. Sitting screaming on that dirty carpet. Filthy no good carpet. Sitting with her hands up for all that world that went there. Sitting with those hands up. One of my first memories was looking at my hand in my mother's bedroom mirror and realizing in my small young brain how big my hand looked compared to how small I'd thought it was. Whose hands are these now? What am I touching
They are smaller than ever but look gigantic, mannish in photos.
Thank you thank you thank you fuck you I love you