My new therapist has me hold a purple plastic egg in each hand and follow a beam of pink light back and forth with my eyes as the purple plastic eggs alternately vibrate from left hand to right hand as the pink light and my eyes go from left to right and I talk about or think about each way that I am haunted. Perhaps I don't want to believe in ghosts because I am full of them already.
Perhaps I haunt myself.
I've had about the same amount of boyfriends and therapists but unfortunately the former preceded the latter. I haven't been single for longer than 3 months since I was fifteen years old, which means I've been falling in and out of love and beds for half my life.
"What do you expect me to do? Sleep alone?"
I am blessed and I am doomed. I am as I am, not as I should be. Forgive me father, for I am fucking human and I kill myself in order to live.
It makes sense to me, but what do I know? Each recognition is an impression of dead light. We are different each moment, as we are who we are as we are. I said that I don't know you anymore but I never really did.
How could I?
