He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.




Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.



Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

A fright to behold

Bataille and pink movies

La Bête Humaine

"When Kichi sees the woman has wet herself, his innate vulnerability is revealed. 'I thought I was holding my dead mother in my arms.' A latent fixation is hinted at: the small boy who lives in all grown men perhaps revels in Sada's dominance, being reminded of past maternal discipline and tactility. Sada's own mother 'suffered greatly before she died'. For a moment there is a suggestion that what the lovers found in one another went through and beyond the sexual; a limitless melange of dependence rooted in infancy: mother, father, child, lover, the whole ardently desired spectrum of physical comfort remembered and reinvented by the body's passionate chemistry.

"Thus the lovers return to their appointed destiny: the tsunami, composed of love, passion, terror, longing, is closing over them; a half-recognized yet almost cosmic ambition for total one-ness; a Calvary whose stations and implements are all artifacts of irresistible power; the power of sexual love, of a petite mort from which there can be no recovery.

"Sada is also the goddess to be worshipped: the beautiful Morgan-le-Fay, the Fata Morgana, one of the Furies, a Valkyrie reaching from paradise. She is Kali, goddess of life and death, who wears a necklace of human skulls, who fertilises, who loves as she kills. She is the Japanese heroine of the Kabuki theatre, whose feminine attire and whitened mask conceal a powerful man."

- Rosemary Hawley Jarman, Eros in Hell "Ai No Corrida"

Obsessed with the obsessed

Optometrist Beiler, trespassing my eye hole with beam of light (brother of spear), dictates to white-vest christina, "Vessels: stunning."
Pierce the other side, "stunning."

its not right

ma·nia definition
Pronunciation: /ˈmā-nē-ə, -nyə/
Function: n
: excitement of psychotic proportions manifested by mental and physical hyperactivity, disorganization of behavior, and elevation of mood


Ma·ni·a
   /ˈmeɪniə, ˈmeɪnyə/ Show Spelled[mey-nee-uh, meyn-yuh] Show IPA
–noun
an ancient Roman goddess of the dead.

I was working when i heard the girls were leaving. I was at work when owen meany cut off johnny's trigger finger with the diamond wheel. I was at work when i realized i've been victimizing myself since the day i was born, and realizing that maturing is believing yourself an angel, forsaken. The ability, choice, to go over it. Not to grin and bear, but to love regardless. To love the hurt, you have to. The hurt love brings is strongest of them all. Sink not, helpless babe