2/13/13

Picking up american-chinese for my co-workers, the lady working the drive-through almost forgot our sodas. Upon handing them over, managing a greasy grin, she told me, "Now you are complete"
i spun out quickly so she would not hear me gagging

You said i was a warrior, but i was only fighting myself. You loved my desperation. I have to admit, it was a clever mask

Dreaming
I was holding a little boy's hand by the water, someone came out of left field and tackled him into the water. The boy couldn't swim so i dove in after him. Underwater struggle.


Ancient Chinese alchemists spent centuries trying to discover an elixir of life that would render the user immortal. What they made was gunpowder.


"Meet me in Cognito, baby. In Cognito, we'll have nothing to hide."

artifact bingo

2/13/13


This is a game of bingo but instead of pitching and winning money, we are pitching and winning ARTIFACTS!

If attending, please bring anything awesome you are willing to potentially part with: ie stamps, cool rocks, mix cds and tapes, artwork, shoelaces, bags of dirt from faraway lands, lucky charms(not the cereal, its nasty), figurines, toys, crystals, pieces of soft material. Your artifacts have to be awesome and you have to be willing to part with them in the event you lose whatever round you stake em for. No one wants to win a pile of raisins.

Basic

One bird of prey a day.

Individualism is dead, or dying, or perhaps I wish it so. I am not a communist, I am turning into the realist I have always been. I just want to go dancing.

I want to write less about myself and more about others. Today I thought I heard an old man call his wife a "tit bag" but I must have heard him wrong.

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I am getting so tired of fighting for my life. This life wants to be hell and I am not giving up. I want the beauty, the purpose, the love and the light. I have seen it, I do not doubt it nor the partnership with shadows. You hand me the dredges of dysfunction and of it I try to fold a miracle. Why do you want me to perish? Why must I be cruel in order to live a full life? No longer a member, I am to step on the writhing bodies of the damned? Use my strength to push aside the weak? The sheep are bleeding crocodile tears and I am cleaning the wool with a soiled tongue. 

Yours Forever,
Allyson

It is funny to say "Bukowski is right" but Bukowski is right on his epitaph to tell us not to try. Frankl tells us that our obsessions with our neurosis are in fact the foodstuffs to keep them going. We fear our fear and the fear comes to get us. We expect it, our hair turns white at the onset of this supposition. I am silly and try not to try. My attempts this year at harnessing my thoughts and reckoning with my emotions has been largely successful, however, I am all too aware of the dangers of ultimate control. I lose myself on nuances, crying tears of joy in crowds. I grow angry at the injustice on behalf of a small spider I tried to spare but lost in my hair. All in good fun, yeah?

Oh let me count the ways

Not listening to lyrics, not cleaning my car, staring at my car, hating my car, the dream cargo shorts I have in mind that don't exist and i still don't know how to thread the bobbin on my sewing machine, the gigantic handbag my therapist gave to me made out of white cow fur and red snake skin, laughing, the dream I just had about wearing a mint one-piece bathing suit with adequate side-boob and stealing my neighbor's porsche several mornings in a row, eating fried oysters and drinking halloween kool aid (ghoul-aid), writing messages to paul, having 6 pimples on the right side of my face but none on the left side, changing my pillow case, talking to my aunts all night on the phone, vitamins, crying in my car, raising my hand in class, too scared to write poetry but knowing it is the best thing for me, picking at my legs now 5 years and counting, listening to elizabeth smart interview on the radio hearing her talk about how there wasn't a good choice for sun glasses, picking my favorite alarm to hate later on